bullets of thought

I should be in bed by now, but Luke brought me Taco Bell at about 9 and it hasn't quite settled well enough for me to go to bed yet. This is all so scatter-brained that I decided to use bullets to make clear the drastic subject changes.

• I don't know how many people watch American Idol anymore, but nothing broke my heart tonight more than Jason Castro singing "Memory." Yes, from CATS. I won't elaborate too much on my feelings concerning this musical or song, but boo. I really like Jason Castro because he has a lot of personality and can make a lot of songs sound really interesting. However, this just proves that NOTHING can salvage that horrible horrible horrible song. This is just my opinion. Andrew Lloyd Webber was probably the most painful for me to watch so far... though David Cook did a surprisingly good job. I just get kind of sick of Phantom of the Opera. I know they're nice songs, but he has written some much much better songs. That's all about that.

• Yesterday was my first real OB appointment and I found out that I will have the doctor I hoped for (the one my sister has gone to and recommended to me), so I'm happy about that. They took away one of my weeks, so my due date is now November 28th, making me not 9 weeks along until Thursday. They also gave me some nausea medicine that isn't too severe. It makes me very slightly groggy, but I can take it as soon as I get up and it helps SO much.

• I am really sad that I lost my camera a couple of months ago. I really have no idea what happened to it... and it was in a really cute case that my sister Gina got me for my birthday a few years back. So, that's why my posts have been so lacking of the cute, fun pictures.

• I apologize because lately my mind is just all over the place that it seems very unlikely that I would just post about one thing. I have been watching a lot more basketball than I ever would have expected. Luke had a basketball game tonight and I, at home by myself, was watching the Suns vs. the Spurs.

• I am really excited to go to Showtime this weekend. My 18 year-old brother Eric is involved in it this year, so I can't wait to see him perform. Something about my brother is that he's pretty quiet most of the time. He's one of those people who startles you with how hilarious he is because it really just comes out of nowhere. Eric originally planned on playing football, but sophomore year he completely changed his schedule... first he decided to do marching band instead of football, then he changed his whole schedule around so he could be in choir. It's exciting to see him be interested in the things that were such a big part of high school for me. I can see though, how it would be a little overwhelming to get involved in something and then have 3 (mom, me, and my sister Kelly) very voiced opinions flying at you. Anyway, my point is that I'm excited to go to Showtime and see Eric out of his shell. Turns out he's a pretty cool kid.
  

Today, my sister gave me angel food cake with strawberries and whipped cream, but didn't mention until later that it was sugar free angel food cake (or maybe I just wasn't listening.. I don't remember). If you are pregnant, do not eat things that are sugar free that shouldn't be. That's all I'm saying. Not a great experience.

Luke has been setting appointments to look at apartments this past week. There have been some okay options so far, but nothing that we're all that excited about. We have a few more appointments, so we'll see what happens.

I haven't been updating much lately, but that's because I get home from work and sleep most of the evening, then usually do something with Luke (most of the time we'll just watch something at home), then go to bed. Exciting, I know. Now it's cold in here so I'm done.

confessions

Eating is a burden, but I have to eat or else I feel nauseous constantly (lately after I eat, I STILL feel nauseous). Showers make me even more exhausted than I already am all the time. I've been taking naps constantly. Lately I've been feeling light-headed and kind of dizzy when I first wake up (especially after the shower), but the last couple of days I just feel horrible any time I try to function in any normal kind of way. I've only thrown up (in the horrible way) twice, but at least afterwards I felt some relief for a little while. Instead I just feel ill all day long. Luke's trying really hard to be patient with me when we try to decide what we'll eat for meals or what we want to do in the evenings (I never really want to do either of those things right now). As you have probably figured out by now, I am pregnant. Thursday will mark 9 full weeks, which means only a few more until my first trimester is over. Then maybe I can start to feel a little more normalcy each day. My due date is November 21, 2008, but of course that is subject to change as the baby develops. At about 20 weeks we can find out the gender, which is exciting. Right now I'm just trying to be healthy and not sleep ALL day. Before I started feeling too horrible, we were able to take a lot of things to Goodwill and declutter a little, which always makes us feel a little better.

We're looking for a new place to live when our lease is up at the end of July. We've had a car broken into twice now (the first time was when my CDs were stolen, but the 2nd time, just an empty purse that was in the floor of the car got taken... which made me want to say HAHAHA it was empty, YOU FOOL!!!). Also, we'd like something with a washer and dryer. That's about as picky as we're getting, since we'll need to be extremely frugal for the next..... oh, 5 or 6 years at least.

We're definitely excited and not quite overwhelmed yet, but I'm sure we'll get there.

Anyway, that's my little secret.

I forgot to say something about KU winning the National Championship, but not because I wasn't excited! That game was the most painful, exciting game I think I've ever watched. Luke, his brother Matt, and their friend Nick, definitely had a jumping group hug after Mario Chalmers hit that 3. That's all I'm saying. :) Congrats, Jayhawks!

On another note, Happy Birthday, Dad!!! My grandma Patty just had a birthday on the 10th as well, and my cousin Laura on the 11th, so Happy Birthday to the both of you too! Hope it was a great one! There are more birthdays very soon to come in the family (tomorrow and next week), but I'll save those for next time.

I still stand by what I've said: that life is good. even when you're poor.

ROCK CHALK!

Congratulations to the KU Jayhawks who tonight will play Memphis in the NCAA Championship game! The North Carolina game was pretty exciting, especially the first half. Cole Aldrich was pretty much my hero with all the blocks he made in the minutes he had. Really, everyone played very well. Sorry, Roy Williams, but we're better off without you. Oh, and sorry Tyler Hansbrough. We always knew you were kind of overrated. We will definitely be watching the game tonight and we definitely look forward to it.

Saturday was also mine and Luke's 6 month anniversary. We didn't do anything special because this weekend was General Conference, so we pretty much just watched that. We did pull out our wedding cake though and it was delicious. We had decided to do that at 6 months so it wouldn't taste bad (some people told us theirs had been stale when they waited a whole year).

yay for Lawrence. I love it here.

*pictured:
Tyler Hansbrough getting school by some of our big men.

ROCK CHALK JAYHAWK! GO KU!

Leatherheads

Last night, Luke and I went to see Leatherheads with Matt and Ali. It's a really cute movie and it turns out that Lawrence's most popular celebrity (after the article about him in the paper this week) was there to see the movie the same time we were. Keith Loneker plays Big Gus (the really big guy to the left of George Clooney).



Keith is actually a really nice guy. He was a long-term substitute Special Ed teacher at Free State in the classroom next to ours last semester. He was really chill and one student who can be especially difficult to handle just LOVED Keith. So, he still comes back every couple of weeks to help out if this student is struggling. He actually does a great job in the movie and it was fun seeing all the little kids asking for his autograph after the movie was over. He actually was an NFL football player and played football at KU a while back. The article about him in the Journal World is great and it was fun to actually personally know someone on the big screen.

ELISE, walmart, GIMP, YouTube

my sweet little niece Elise had a birthday yesterday... her FIRST! yay Elise! she is the happiest baby i think i've ever seen, but she's afraid of most boys if they look at her too long.



She will laugh at just about anything and LOVES her big sister Ava and her doggies Quartz and Maya.


So, Gina's in town tonight and staying overnight for Elise's birthday party tomorrow (a ducky theme.. it's going to be very cute). All 4 of us sisters went to Walmart tonight to do the shopping for the party and I don't know what it is, but when we all get together, we just get giddy and it's like we're all in high school... doing silly things to get a laugh, bringing up incriminating jokes about each other and just having fun. It had been a long time since we were all together with just us, so I really enjoyed it.

yay for sisters.

And thanks for all the nice comments about the blog layout. The truth is I've just spent more time than usual dorking out in front of the computer. I got a new program called Gimp that is completely free to download, so I've been playing around with it. It's kind of hard to navigate if you're not familiar with the Adobe Photoshop tools and doesn't do EVERYTHING Photoshop can, but it's great considering it's about $350 cheaper :P I also made a banner for my sister Lori's blog which I think I like better than my own, but I had a lot of fun making it just right for her.

yay for all the people who have started blogging recently!!!

Oh, I forgot to mention that I have made my official YouTube debut. Someone from another university saw our ACDA performance and put "David of the White Rock" on YouTube. My brother Kevin searched our last name (my former last name) and it's the only video that came up. Sweet. (you may need to turn up the volume)

back to work, Easter Sunday

it was kind of a challenge going back to work yesterday. for a while, i was really enjoying working as a paraeducator and it still has its moments, but i think i'm getting worn out in the same way the students do by the end of the school year. when i was in school, i'm pretty sure i had 'senioritis' by my sophomore year, so i'm not sure what i'm doing working at a school. there are just a couple of students i work with who really want to fight everything i ask them to do. one kid swore at me 3 times today and ended up having to sit in the hallway the rest of the time. i just want to say, i'm sorry you're having a bad day (and i sincerely am), but do you understand that your choosing to react this way just makes everyone else have a bad day? i know i'm not a very patient person, so i'm sure that's one of the reasons i need to be working as a para. i am still looking for something new beginning in the summer, since i can't work as a para in the summer and luke and i need a more solid income for when he starts school in the fall.

by the way, yay for the economic stimulus act of 2008. and yay that we qualify.

we had a good Easter on Sunday. unfortunately, i can't find my camera, so i was taking pictures with my sister Lori's camera all night, but i still got some good ones. Easter is one of my favorite holidays because i feel like it is an opportunity to really celebrate the greatest source of hope we could ever imagine. Because Christ rose from the tomb on the 3rd day as a resurrected being, I have hope (confidence that God will fulfill his promises) that we also will be resurrected when Christ returns to the earth. I know that He conquered death so that we could live eternally with him and our Heavenly Father. This Sunday was a little strange to me because I felt like this amazing blessing was quite understated. Granted, the Resurrection of Jesus Christ should be considered and discussed often, but Sunday was a great opportunity to be reminded of the great and infinite sacrifice that Jesus Christ made for each and every one of us, so that we can repent and be made whole again. It seems so easy to be grateful that Christ died, but what would that have meant if He had not then lived again? He died, that He might live again; that He might conquer mortality for our sakes. I know this is true because I have experienced a witness of the Holy Ghost that it is true. When I write these truths, I feel at peace and I know that my Heavenly Father has created a perfect (and very individual) plan for each one of us. He is in the details because He has chosen to be. I guess that means I have to choose to pay attention for it really to make a difference in my life.

I am grateful for all of the love I get to experience every day of my life. I am grateful for the many opportunities I have and I am hopeful for the future (by "hopeful" I don't mean that I wish for the future to be bright, but I mean that I know that God has offered me a guide that will allow me to feel joy in this life, and in the life to come).

Life is good.

SPRING BREAK: Oklahoma, John Adams, massage

beading. movies. looking at pictures. laughing until grandma gets giddy. telling grandma our story of how we started dating/how he proposed, etc.

That about sums up our trip to oklahoma. i really love spending time with my grandma patty. she has an incredible gift to see the good in every person she meets. it's nice that luke and i get to go see her before our lives are made more complicated with young children or serious jobs.

Patty got excited to pull out her bead collection... she couldn't help herself from taking apart old necklaces and buying other beads to go with them, but she never really uses them. i had fun making a couple of necklaces for her as well as for myself as we spent the afternoons talking (my favorite part about our visits). i love how we talk about anything from family and history to getting giddy about her accidentally saying "green beans" instead of "green beads." I also love how she has truly incorporated the gospel into her life. She is a great example of looking to the Lord in all that we do and I can learn so much from her.

Patty introduced us to the HBO series based on the book John Adams, written by David McCullough. Actor Tom Hanks had the idea to turn it into a miniseries and is the executive producer. There have been 2 episodes so far and will be 7 total. Paul Giamatti and Laura Linney play John and Abigail Adams and it is so well done! I know that after watching it, people will think of John Adams in a completely different way. He is kind of glanced over in American History classes, but had such a key role to the founding of our free nation. My favorite so far has been 1: seeing how thoroughly John consulted with his (extremely intelligent) wife in all his decisions and 2: seeing how much the course of events leading up to the Declaration of Independence was guided by the Spirit of God. They used actual transcripts from the Continental Congress for the dialogue as they discussed a response to the attack at Lexington and Concord and I felt so strongly that those words were chosen carefully by the Spirit. I know that the founding fathers were led by God to bring about a free nation where the true gospel of Jesus Christ could be reestablished on the earth. The role of John Dickinson, a Quaker and representative of Pennsylvania, was just as important as the role of John Adams during the Continental Congress because he presented the very possible consequences that could've caused greater loss for the colonies. In order for agency to truly exist, there must be opposition. There must be at least 2 choices where 1 can be chosen over the other. I believe that even John Dickinson, who is shown as the dissenter, was led by God to say every word that he presented to that group of men in Philadelphia. I know that the way has been prepared that we can live in a land where liberty, law (obeying laws instead of obeying men) and agency are valued as essential parts of humanity. Most of that happens in the second episode that I got to watch at my parents' house last night. The first episode is about the Boston Massacre. I loved how impartial John Adams was. He was willing to defend the British soldiers and it displayed Adams' impartiality to the people he defends. He was a man of law and only cared that it be fairly distributed. Colonel (later in episode 2 he is made General) Washington is shown as a man of honor, humility and duty. I was very impressed.

I will mention that it is kind of graphic in parts (in the first episode, they show a man stripped naked, tarred and feathered), but I will definitely be watching the rest of the series and am really impressed with how well-done it is. I didn't mention the role of Thomas Jefferson, but I loved how he defended the words he wrote in the Declaration of Independence. He said that he chose each word carefully and shared freely his belief that slavery was an abomination and should be abhorred (in another scene, Abigail Adams asks General Washington if the hardships are caused by the sin on slavery). I have never seen their actual words acted out in such a way and have felt throughout that they were truly guided by God to lead this land to freedom and liberty. I am grateful for their sacrifice and closeness to that which was good and true.

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Last of all, I will mention that I got my first ever professional massage today and it was amazing. It was at an AVEDA salon and only a half hour because it came with a spa package of 4 visits that Luke got me for valentine's day, but for anyone who is anxious, stressed or tense, I highly recommend it.

conquering a fear (or at least shaving off a bit of its bite)

Okay, so I have kind of an embarrassing fear. I really really really hate swimming with my head under water. As in, it kind of freaks me out. Luke and I went to the indoor pool today (since it's attached to our place of work) and did laps... by the end, Luke had convinced me to go under water and open my eyes, and put my nose in the water several times without physically plugging it. That's something I've never really learned to do. I never took swimming lessons and really was never taught how to correctly swim. I know the basic strokes, but I try to do them with my head above water. Doesn't always work so well (example... breast stroke). Anyway, it was a nice change and my body felt worked by the end, so it was successful. We plan to go more often in the coming months because we're trying to create new lifestyle habits for ourselves. Eating out is going to be at a MINIMUM and no (minimal) soda. Along with that, I just need to become active again. When I was in high school, playing soccer and just being active, I had so much more energy than I do now. I need to learn how to live better for myself, so that eventually when we have children, we will be able to not only teach it, but show its effects.

i love vacuum.

A recommendation for those ever planning to be on American Idol: don't peak too soon.

It seems lately that every day that passes causes me to want more and more to sing. All the time. My sister Kelly gets embarrassed when we go anywhere together because I'm usually singing something under my breath. She says, "Heidi, stop that. Normal people don't go around singing all the time." or something of that nature. I kind of can't help it.

Luke and I are helping mom & dad finish their basement. I spent Saturday tearing down wallpaper and painting, as well as doing lots of puttying to conjoin the ceilling to the wall. My arms were sore a couple days following, but we plan to do more later this week.

Using a gift package Luke got me for Valentine's Day, I got my hair done today and I really like it. She styled it a little big for me, but I look forward to doing it myself. It's pretty short in the back. I'll say that much... but I do really like it. Though, I will openly say that Gaia's brother is way better. My next appointment is for a massage. I look forward to that very much.

And today our REAL vacuum arrived in the mail! Dad found a crazy good deal for us and it's world's better than the horrible minivac we were using.

And this is how eventful life is at the moment. I'm excited about a vacuum.