the necessity of pain and consequences

On the eve of Luke and my first combined payday in a while, I am GRATEFUL for Luke's birthday (and the cash donations he received on its behalf) and for late wedding gifts that have granted us financial survival until this payday could finally arrive. I really feel like this struggle is making us stronger... like when you're working out muscles, they tear only to be strengthened as they are rebound. Each time they tear, they become stronger and stronger.

If you do not have a public library card, I highly recommend it. How often do you read a book that you want to own? Definitely less than every time you read a book, right? I don't understand why people buy a book if they have wanted to read it. Umm, hey. That's the entire purpose of the library... so you don't have to spend money on something you'll just read once (or twice or however many times you want to check it out because it's free!). I just finished reading The Giver by Lois Lowry on Saturday. Most people my age read it in about 6th grade, but I never did for some reason. I really loved this book and guarantee that I'll read it again (and now I know that at some point I do want to buy it :P). It was a great reminder to me of the important (and often necessary) purpose of pain. Is it really to our benefit to try and eliminate it? Of course we can minimize the amount of pain in our lives by making good choices, but I also know there are some causes of pain that are essential to our personal growth and character. I may decide to never touch a hot stove because my mom told me not to, but I can tell you that I learned the lesson a lot more personally when I burnt myself... and I realized that there are worse things than burning yourself on the stove. While it definitely does hurt, I probably don't need to live in fear of the kitchen stove.

A couple of Sundays ago we were talking about Lehi's vision in 1 Nephi 8 - 12 (in the Book of Mormon) and we were discussing the mists of darkness (which represent temptation). In order to eventually get to the tree of life (which represents eternal life), you must hold fast to the rod of iron (which represents the word of God -- I see it as kind of a guardrail), which is the straight way leading to the tree. It is so easy to forget that in this vision, the rod of iron passes directly through the mists of darkness. You can't just avoid the mists altogether, but you have to pass through them, while still clinging tightly to the iron rod. You have to OVERCOME the temptation by choosing to hold to the better path, rather than trying to take a different route to avoid it altogether. Then you're just fumbling for your own way, thinking it will be easier -- and it very well may be easier, but life is hard for a reason. If it's easy, then it probably won't get you to the place (or allow you to become the person) you ultimately want to be. Anyway, those of you who have read The Giver hopefully understand what I'm talking about, but I really enjoyed the book and recommend it to anyone who hasn't read it.

It's silly to even mention this, but whenever I think of the principle of pain, it reminds me of an episode of Grey's Anatomy I saw in one of the first seasons... there was a little girl who thought she was a superhero because she could feel no pain. She would always tell kids to punch her in the stomach to prove that she was invincible. Just because she couldn't feel the pain doesn't mean that the blows to her stomach weren't causing her body harm. She was internally bleeding because she was allowing herself to be damaged over and over again ... because she didn't even know there was anything wrong. My point if: We may complain about pain, but if we didn't have it as a warning, we would just keep doing things that were harmful to ourselves. Granted, sometimes people ignore the pain and continue to hurt themselves (and I don't just mean physically), but at least we have that warning if we are willing to react to it. Instead of running away from pain, maybe we should be figuring out what is causing it and learn how to solve whatever is causing it. Then we know how to press forward instead of just running away from anything that may challenge us.

That's all, really.

I'm starting to feel better... all day I felt like my ears were getting ready to pop, but they never did. I'm really hoping to feel well enough to go back to work tomorrow. I know they rely on me for a lot and I want to be there to fulfill my duties.

I've decided that life is so interesting because 1. we're supposed to enjoy it, and 2. we're supposed to learn from it. I don't really enjoy boring things and I'm not usually very willing to learn from them either.

Now, that's all.