Among the craziness of my life, I haven't taken much time to sit down and reflect.  I'm just over 3 weeks away from my due date to have another little girl and that quickly approaching date has brought on a lot of emotions.

I am choosing to attempt a VBAC this time around (vaginal birth after cesarian) after having an unexpected emergency c-section with Adelle.  I've decided to have an epidural, which I was really torn about.  I really didn't want to have one - I feel like it really slowed down my progress the first time around - but my doctor explained to me that should the VBAC not be successful and I end up having to have another c-section, if I don't already have an epidural in place, I will have to be completely asleep for the surgery and no family (Luke) will be allowed in the room.  If I already have the epidural, I'll be able to be awake and see the baby right away, with Luke by my side, which is how it was with Adelle.  I am praying that the VBAC will be successful, but also know that I need to have an open heart/mind for whatever happens.  The most important thing is the health of my baby and me.

Adelle has been asking a lot lately if she can see her baby sister.  She is so excited to be a big sister and I know she will be a great helper.  We have most of the staple things we need to be ready, but during one of our several moves in the past 3 years, we lost an entire tub of 0-6 month clothes.  I couldn't believe how much meaning/emotion I had attached to a tub of clothing when I realized it was gone.  I am really grateful for Luke's love and support through all of this.  Pregnancy is not my favorite, but I am counting my blessings for how smoothly it has gone and to have such a supportive and loving husband as a companion.

Meanwhile, we are still here in Oklahoma living with my paternal grandmother and helping with her care.  She came home a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving after being in a rehabilitation center (convalescent hospital) for several months.  She was home for about a month, doing very well, but now she has been in the hospital for the past week and 1/2 and is currently in ICU dealing with several things.  She first went into the hospital for a bladder infection that turned into a blood infection.  Since she's been there, she's gotten pneumonia and they found 2 blood clots in her leg.  It's a blessing that we were able to get her there when we did.  She is sleeping a lot, but her awake periods are more alert and lucid.  I know that she wants to overcome this, but it's just a long process when so many things are attacking her body.  It's really hard to see someone doing so well, then all of a sudden take a complete turn in the other direction.  Her health is so fragile, but I know she still has some fight in her.  I've learned so much from her example.  She's strong, opinionated and unconditionally loving.  Even today, talking to her on the phone, with everything she's dealing with, she wanted to know first thing how the baby and I were doing.  I am blessed with so many influences of love and strength in my family.

With everything that's happening in our lives, sometimes it's been difficult to focus on this little baby who we are going to be meeting very soon.  I can feel that she is already a part of our family.  She has also done very well at reminding us of her presence.  I cannot believe how active she has been in the womb.  She reacts every time she hears Adelle or Luke's voices - and kicks Luke almost every time he goes to touch my belly.  Other than that, she's just been moving constantly.  Adelle would always just find a comfortable position and stay there for as long as possible.  It's going to be interesting having 2 little girls and I can't wait!  I look forward to being in the hospital with her, not having to worry about anything else but this new little baby.